


Goodnight Ben

by whisperingstars



Series: Different Dimensions of Time and Space [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Childhood, Dreams and Nightmares, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hope, Mother's Love, Mother's Sacrifice, Other, Past Character Death, Regret, Sleep, dark future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:17:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6261586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperingstars/pseuds/whisperingstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Leia used her force to send sweet dreams to young Ben when he had nightmares.</p><p>"Leia smiles. With that, she sends this memory to him and it covers the darkness he sees. Then, she can feel his joy. Ben is smiling in his sleep, tightly grasping the memory within him."</p><p>Previously under the title: Sweet Dreams</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight Ben

The nighttime had come and swept the Solo family into their beds of a small, quaint home. Han and Leia had agreed to settle down when the child was born. So, they settled on a distant planet full of life and fresh air, away from their past and away from the universe that they had grown up in. In the still of night, Leia often thought of the wars they fought and the people she had lost.

But tonight, those thoughts were interrupted by crying.

Ben was crying. 

Even in her sleep, Leia could feel his small sorrows seeping into her being. _Ah, her thoughts must have disturbed him._

She looks into Ben's restless mind and she sees herself, beaten and bloodied in front of a nameless figure. Ben was on his knees, wailing for her. The darkness surrounds him.

 **I'm sorry.** He cried.

**I'm sorry.**

Leia sighs, she knows what to do. She closes her mindless worrying, her dark past, and opens up the gentle part of her memories. 

Flashes of a younger Ben running through the fields of the planet, laughing and giggling for Chewie and her to come after him. 

Leia smiles. With that, she sends this memory to him and it covers the darkness he sees. Then, she can feel his joy. Ben is smiling in his sleep, tightly grasping the memory within him. 

Leia thinks again, reminding herself to close the bond for now.

_He is young. He is naive. He is my little boy._

The past invades her mind again, and she worries once more for the future for her little boy.

******

The stars linger above the house, betraying nothing of the impending dark that fills Ben.

Leia can feel it, the pull the Dark has on Ben. It dominates his thoughts, his actions, his words. And it dominates his dreams.

Ben keeps crying.

Tonight, Ben is cold. Shivering. Vulnerable.

Leia senses her son's distress, and she peers into his troubled conscience. Ben stands in front of "her" father. Leia frowns deeply. She knows that this is not her father. Darth Vader never was. 

Vader coaxes Ben, pleading with him to let the Darkness in. But Ben doesn't want to. 

Leia closes her eyes, she knows what to do. She digs into her soul and finds another memory for him, one powerful enough to keep the Darkness away for a while, so that Ben may have peaceful sleep.

The memory is of the first time Ben successfully defeated her brother in a mock battle. Ben was an excellent student, quick to learn and steadfast in loyalty to his mentor. The force in you is good, Luke had said. Ben was so proud, proud that he was going to be something wonderful.

The memory fills Ben's mind and the figure and darkness fades. Ben grasps onto the memory tightly, again sleeping in peace.

_He will never know of this bond._

Leia thinks to herself again, letting Ben dream softly in private. The force in him was great and he was sure to create many bonds with others. But he will never know of this bond, the bond that binds him to Leia as her only son. 

This does not sadden Leia as it should. She is okay with him not knowing. Ben does not have to know about the dreams she sends. 

******

Leia has failed. She could not keep the Dark away long enough. 

Ben had succumbed "her" father's wishes.

The dreams didn't work. _There wasn't enough light in her to save him._

Han and her have bickered over Ben, playing an endless game of blame. The little house on the distant planet is gone. Han is gone. 

And Ben is gone.

Her thoughts plague her at night, the past and worries gaining up on her.

Tonight, ~~Kylo~~ no, Ben stands before his new mentor, evil in a physical form. Ben's darkness leaks into Leia's spirit. The coldness is unbearable and Leia fights back. She protects the memories which she holds so dear. She wonders, as she grips her memories with everything she has, if her son is still there. 

But Leia can still feel it, the crying Ben does. He still does it, even after accepting the darkness into himself. His sadness is much more intense than before and he screams and wails for his sanity.   

So, again and again, she sends memories, one by one, so the darkness may become bearable for him. And it does. 

The darkness eases around him, and the mask is off. She gazes upon her Ben, ~~her little boy.~~ The storm within him fades, and he relaxes.

_It seems he still doesn't know about this bond._

Ben's gaze is no longer on her, and he ignores Leia as though she has vanished with the darkness. He takes her gift of a memory and holds it tenderly in his hands. Then he clutches it into his palms, wanting to keep the warmth close to his cold heart. Wanting to keep the light just for the moment. 

Leia smiles through her pain. Her Ben is still there and she can keep sending her memories to him.

******

The base was silent, the Resistance all tucked away like small children. The moons hang in place, shining among the black blanket of the sky. They convey nothing of the events going on down below. 

Leia is losing her sanity. She can't close the bond anymore. Ben's darkness leaks into her, pulling out all the sadness she has hidden and destroying the last of her light memories. She is weak. She is tired. She is old. 

Leia aches. Her heart aches for her light memories. Aches for Han. Aches for Luke. Aches for Ben. But she doesn't have them anymore. All she has is the darkness that surrounds her mind.  

Leia cries out desperately. Her worries, her past, her faded future, they have all been drenched in the darkness. And it was drowning Leia. 

She is stuck in a never-ending cyclone of wounds that cannot be healed, and she cannot dry her tears.  

But suddenly, the darkness wanes and lifts for a moment. Leia can see past the veil of despair.

_Ben_ **.**

He stands before her, her broken and beaten soul. He closes his eyes, and searches for something within him.  

 _There it was._  

A light, joyful memory illuminated his face. It was the time Leia and Ben were in the marketplace, searching for little gadgets and parts for the Millennium Falcon, playing with everything and laughing at each other's silly actions. Ben sends it to her, the memory drifting toward her core. The memory brushes Leia's wanting fingertips, and it warms her.  

 **I'm sorry.** Ben says, his voice tired and somber.

**I'm sorry.**

Leia is shocked, her mind in disbelief. He was aware. 

Leia tries to compose her thoughts again.

 _How long?_ She asks.

Ben gave a wistful smile.

**I have always known.**

Suddenly, Leia cries. Leia sobs, her body racked with feelings. Ben reaches down, embracing her. All the memories flood back into Leia and flood her mind with light. But now, she can feel the tempest that is trapped within Ben. He becomes cold, even as she holds him close. He is in so much pain, and Leia realizes something important. 

Leia sighs sorrowfully, closing her tear-filled eyes. She knows what she has to do. 

She pulls away from Ben just enough so that she looks upon her little boy once more. 

She smiles and she whispers.

_Goodnight Ben._

**Author's Note:**

> I cried while writing this. A random thought that passed through my mind, and I had to write it down. This is the result.
> 
> This is my interpretation of force bonds, so if it isn't accurate, that might be why. I also wrote this in one-sitting, so if you see any typos, please let me know so I can fix it!
> 
> Thanks for kudos and comments!


End file.
